literature

MONSTER

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MONSTER
The bright computer screen on her lap made her room seem even darker than black. The only things she could distinguish amidst the darkness were the flashing red numbers on the alarm clock with the wrong time, the four yellow dots on the VHS/DVD player and the faintest outline of the closed blinds against the window, everything else didn't seem to exist. Given her history of silent panic attacks, she tried her best to just focus on the screen, trying to ignore what was hiding in the dark beyond it. The more she tried to focus on it though the more she thought about what was hiding in that abyss.
What if there were dozens of little spiders, making webs between everything that covered the floor. What if they were laying tons of baby spiders that would emerge in a few days and devour her and all of her possessions? She almost couldn't think of a more horrible fate until…
What if the monster laid hiding behind the boxes, under the clothes and books piled on top of it? It had the perfect hiding spot in there, and she would never know it was there until it was too late. The monster that haunted her every second of every day, it even tormented her in her dreams. She never had a moments rest from it, sure she could push it to the back of her mind and try to ignore it but as soon as she almost succeeded it would stretch its legs and remind her that it was still there, waiting, waiting for the perfect moment to strike, when she was at her most vulnerable. That was why she refused to let anyone too close to her. She couldn't let any friend, or family member into her heart completely. She kept no secrets from anyone, and she would never let herself fall in love with anyone ever again, because that's what gave the monster power.
Unfortunately, the computer screen was starting to hurt her eyes. She had the brightness turned down as low as it could go, but it didn't seem low enough. She had to look out into the darkness to rest her eyes from the screen, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it, so she suffered through the burning and watering eyes. She tried closing her eyes, but she could only see the monster.
The monster resembled her in some way. It looked as it skin had grown over its eyes, and over its nose. It had a mouth, but no teeth and no tongue. The monster couldn't speak, but somehow she knew what it wanted to tell her. It was naked, its body pale white and the pale skin was pulled tight across its bones; it wasn't skinny by any means, it resembled her body, but less human. It was something from a nightmare that seemed to come to life. There was no hair on its head, and its fingernails were cracked and bloody. It never moved, it just sat there with its legs pulled against its chest, its arms wrapped tightly around its knees and its head resting on its arms. It was her most comfortable position whenever she sat on the ground.
That night however it moved. In one fluid motion it stood up, it seemed to take up the entire corner on the wall across from her, it was taller than she thought it would be. The thing towered over her as she sat on her bed, with her blanket pulled up to her chest. She cursed herself for glancing away from the computer screen, what was she supposed to do now? She couldn't call for help; her baby brother was sleeping, as was her mother. Besides, she didn't want anyone to know about this monster. This one was her secret monster that no one knew anything about. If they did she would be institutionalized, and who knows what monsters live in there. No, she had always been able to handle it without raising any suspicion about it and that's the way she wanted to keep it.
"You're not real" she muttered quietly, closing her eyes tightly and covering them with her hands. Just ignore it, it will go away. Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it. The monster didn't speak, didn't move didn't breathe. The floor creaked under its weight, surely someone must have heard that she thought.
"You're not real" it mimicked her voice exactly, the panic and the fear that lay hidden under her words. Her eyes opened wide behind her hands, her heart quickened and she began to shake violently. "You're not real. You're not real" it repeated. She wanted to look over at the monster, but last time she did it moved so she didn't want to risk it again.
"Go away, you're not real. Just a figment of my overactive imagination. Go away" she mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut again and moving her sweaty hands to cover her ears. If she couldn't see it or hear it then it didn't exist right?
"You're not real" the thing said again, a sinister smile spreading across its toothless mouth. How was it even speaking? Impossible. Against her better judgment, she opened her eyes and looked at it as it stood in the opposite corner with that smile plastered on its face. It was an emotionless smile, but you could tell that behind it were malicious thoughts. Her mind was racing, but the most prominent thought was how would her family afford the funeral? Would anyone even go to the funeral? She questioned her life and her friends. "No one will show up" it said in a raspy, high pitched voice. She thought about it for a second, it didn't upset her as much as it should, if anything it actually comforted her a little because at least she had an answer.
"Go away" she said again, more firmly this time, taking her hands off her ears and looking at the monster. It terrified her beyond belief but she didn't want to die knowing that no one would mourn her or show up at her funeral. She couldn't go out meaning so little to people.
One of my recurring nightmares, I added the happy ending though. I also couldn't think of a good way to finish it...
© 2011 - 2024 Jessin-Way
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